Sunday, March 24, 2013

Urban Dictionary of a Farmer – Contributor Edition

Thanks so much to everyone who wrote into the blog, and on Facebook, with their additions for the Urban Dictionary of a Farmer. I’ll continue to add to it over the course of the year, as other terms and definitions pop into conversation. Please feel free to keep sending in your suggestions, but for now, here are some favourites!

Up the road – Any place between five and 5000 kilometres away. (From The Farmer Has a Wife)

I’m right on it – Don’t hold your breath. (From The Farmer Has a Wife)

Old Mate – that man. (From The Farmer Has a Wife)

Example of use:
ST: I was talking to old mate from up the road the other day and…
Bessie: Which old mate? The young bloke, or old mate with the moustache?
ST: Nah, you know old mate who just married that woman from Town.
Bessie: Oh THAT old mate! Yeah, what about him?

Chook food – any meal without meat in it. (From The Farmer Has a Wife)

Cow - a cow is a cow unless it's a weaner, heifer, steer, bullock etc. (From Elise on Facebook)

Example of use:
Me: I saw some cows in Kelly's this morning, are they meant to be there?
Bossman: Cows? No there shouldn't be any cows in there, there's some weaners in there. A fence must be down but there's not even any cows in the adjoining paddocks? They must have come from airstrip and gotten in through the lane, maybe that fence is down too or someone left the gate open? How long since you've checked those fences?
Me: Sorry, I meant weaners. I saw some weaners in Kelly's this morning....

The other day – any time in the last five years or so. (From Elise on Facebook)

Do you read? – UHF speak for “Are you on channel?” Always makes me think... Yes, I read quite a lot. I prefer murder mysteries. Not the correct answer! (From Elise on Facebook)

Roger – can mean ‘Yes will do’, ‘Oh really?’, ‘Yeah right, understood’ (or pretty much anything in the affirmative) depending on the way that it is said. (From Elise on Facebook)

Sucker - a lamb that was recently sucking on Mum but isn't anymore. (From Elise on Facebook)

And these from Robyn on Facebook…

Waterhole - pub
Joe Blake – snake
Plank – plane (particularly if you're a helicopter pilot)
Bush chook - emu
Hit the frog an’ toad - meaning hit the road-get going!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Urban Dictionary of a Western New South Wales farmer

Weather/Whether/Wether – Yes, your whole primary school education has been a lie! There are not just two, but THREE different spellings of weather/whether/wether. While I’m sure you’re familiar with the first two, the third and lesser known spelling, wether, indicates a castrated male sheep.

Example of use:

ST: Did you check the wethers in the House Paddock today?
Bessie: I saw some sheep. They looked fine.
ST: Was is the young wethers? Did you see any of those old ewes?
Bessie: Uhuh.

Tank – a big hole in the ground which stores water. Like a dam? you ask. Yes! Exactly like a dam, except because we want to confuse you, we call it a tank. And yes, a tank is also a giant plastic/corrugated iron/cement/poly container for storing water as well. And yes, we have tanks (the latter kind) sitting on the banks of the tanks (the first kind) also.

Example of use:

ST: Did you check the tank in Strip Paddock today?
Bessie: The ground tank or the poly tank?
ST: Both.
Bessie: The actual Strip Paddock tank? Or Jimmy’s tank at the other end of Strip?
ST: Both.
Bessie: Yeah… Sure.

Traveller/Roadie – No, this is nothing to do with a backpacker or person on a holiday, travelling anywhere, at all. It is, in fact, a beer you drink while driving back from one property to another after a long day of hard work.

Example of use:

Bessie: Would you like a traveller for the trip?
ST’s Dad: Better get me a couple I think thanks Bess.

Lamb Marking – the systematic process of ear tagging, tail docking and castrating (the males) all the young lambs on the property. Depending on how many lambs there are, lamb marking also generally refers to the period of time during which this process is occurring.

Example of use:

Neighbour: Would you like to come over for a BBQ this weekend?
Bessie: Sorry, we’re lamb marking.
Friend: Would you like to camping on the long weekend in June?
Bessie: Sorry, June’s lamb marking.

Crossie – A sheep which is not a purebred. Eg. A merino crossed with a dorper.

Example of use:

Bessie: How did you get that bruise?
ST: Bloody crossie kicked me.

Killer – The best looking sheep or cow in the herd, which we will eat ourselves rather than sell.

Example of use:

Bessie: We’re running low on meat in the freezer.
ST: There’ll be a couple of good killers in the mob I’m getting in the yards tomorrow actually.

22, 303, 243, 410 – Various types of firearms used to dispatch pest animals.

Example of use: I saw a massive boar at Strip Tank today but I didn’t have the 243 with me so it got away.

Town – any town within a 500km radius. Never assume it’s the closest town; always ask for specifics.

Example of use:

ST: Dad’s got to go to Town tomorrow if you need him to bring anything back.
Bessie: I’d love some milk, bread, potatoes, we’re out of carrots and some fruit would be great… where’s he going, Cobar?
ST: Wilcannia.
Bessie: Oh. OK…. Just some milk then, from the servo I guess.

Huts – also known as Shearer’s Quarters, Huts are permanent onsite bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen and dining located near the Shearing Shed (also known as the Wool Shed) which accommodates the influx of the shearing team at shearing time.

Example of use: I still have to go and clean the huts before shearing starts on Monday.

Swamp and Creek – A dry depression in a paddock which can be either sandy, rocky or clay-y which looks like once upon a time it maybe, might have, used to have, been a swamp or creek, a million years ago, back when there was actually water around.

Example of use:

ST on the UHF: Where are you?
Bessie on the UHF: In Lynn’s Paddock somewhere. Near some Box trees.
ST on the UHF: Have you passed the swamp?
Bessie on the UHF: ………… Sschhhh…I…sshhhuuuchchhh…. f-shschcch…ing….kn-schhhhhcchh-

Feed/Pick - the amount of edible grass and burrs growing in the paddock for the stock to eat.

Example of use:

Neighbour: How’s the feed looking over there?
ST: Yeah some green pick coming through. Bit dry over the back though.

Hanging – When all the townsfolk gather in the public square to watch... woops! I mean, when sheep forget where the tank is in a paddock and decide to all just “hang” out in a group on a fence line instead of trying to find some water to get a drink.

Example of use: Would you be able to check those crossie wethers we put out in Bore Paddock after lamb marking, make sure they’re not hanging near the old creek in the corner at the top end?

Water Run – the 800million-kilometre round trip to every tank on the property to check the water level, how boggy the tanks are, how the sheep are looking, and how much feed there is. The length of the water run is often measured in how many travellers/roadies you need to take with you (depending on the time of day of course! We’re not all alcoholics out here. Just me.)

Example of use:

ST: I’m just going to do the water run.
Bessie: Sure, which way are you going? Should I come? How long is going to be? Will I have time to make dinner once we get back?
ST: Better grab some roadies for the trip…